I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
