Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
