I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
