I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
