its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
