Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
