Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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