you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
