I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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