she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm bleeding and have questions
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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