I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
