She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
