i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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