im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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