What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize