he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
