I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
