3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
