you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
