I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
This is the high leading the old right now
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
