I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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