Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
