im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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