nut hugger
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Actions speak louder than pants.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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