jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
