Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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