I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
