Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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