DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
