your parents love me but you hate me
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
