if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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