I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
