Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
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