I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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