so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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