I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
