ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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