lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize