so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
