i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
