Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize