Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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