..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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