if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
