why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
