More tranny stories later!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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