Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
