I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
