your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
