Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
