my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
