i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
