Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
