Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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