Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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