lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
