i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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