I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
