she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
