Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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