In the future we'll all be gay
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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