Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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