so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
